Crossroads: The Chains We Own

The metallic melody that followed her was as annoying as it was musical. No amount of cloth dampened the sound so Odella had stoped trying to hide it. The result had received mixed reviews. The stares bothered her less than the averted eyes, at least they were honest, but the looks of pity were the worst. She did not feel pitiful, she felt strong.

Odella bared her arms proudly, hiked her skirts often, and opened her neckline as wide as she could. She wasn’t exposed, she was on display. Dripping with inherent danger, like some legendary battle axe, and like all splendid weapons Odella’s chains evoked fear and admiration in equal measure. She knew the finely wrought rings intimately; their weight, the way they warmed against her, the depressions in her body where they rested. Over half a million individually carved pieces of her soul.

Odella’s story was one that seemed to start in the middle. For while she was sure that she had not been born to the chains remembering life outside them had become impossible. What remained was tactile only; the odor of sticky sweat that had covered her body, the emptiness in the pit of her stomach, the sound of blood rushing in her ears, pain indescribable, and the peaceful feeling of clarity. It made Odella’s hands shake when she focused on the moment too hard. It was a singularity, a bridge burned, a path chosen. How could she describe a thing no one else had done? Could there ever be enough detail to describe what it felt like to make every truth written on your heart corporeal so you could wrap yourself up in them?

Truth, a notoriously hard pill to swallow was even harder on the ears. So she let the mythology grow up around her like weeds. Honestly it made her laugh, in spite of herself, to hear what people said of Odella the storm crow. Her eyes, black as night, could steal a person’s voice and freeze them in place. Her appearance, which shifted like sand, was that of either a beggar crone or beautiful harpy. Her chains were a magical enchantment that halted time. The nonsense kept the merely curiously away, afraid she might curse them with knowledge. It lent her space and freedoms, but not peace. The truths that were whispered always caused the greater harm. Truth was what pulled at her, like North pulling on a compass needle, and more than not forced her hand.

But Odella had learned that handing people truth was a bit like granting wishes, as fickle as wavering candlelight and just as easily blown away. So when her second sight kicked in she tried to stay passive letting the asker find the answers and make the choices. Her eyes could only freeze the cowardly. The sight was not prophetic, but the patterns were real, and the choices concrete.

Some might call it fate, but those were the small thoughts of the uninformed. It was choice. Odella has chosen to pull out that which bound her, decided to wear those emotional ties as physical chains. As unsettling as it is true even our smallest choices define us, and this had been no small choice. It was Odella’s choosing that determined who she became. It is the samE for everyone. The path of life holds any number of surprises and adventures lost to those too busy looking ahead to watch their step. The true journey lies in the now. Whether or not people are honest with themselves, each person lives at the precipice making decisions which lead ever closer to what comes next and forever closing the way to what might have been. It is here that Odella shines, these small additive moments where only her eyes can reflect the light of choice, at the Crossroads.

*** I ***

You called to me in the dark, no more than shadow in the twilight, but still your need pulled at me. Your voice was filled with naive hope and half formed questions. I could even taste the salt of your rising tears. Still I almost turned away. You did not have to become my problem I told myself, and I almost listened.

***

From the shadows Odella watched the girl child. She looked frustrated not scared, more pacing than panic. The words the girl muttered to herself were only clear when she unknowingly faced Odella. Still Odella felt herself being pulled in.

“Truth can be a weighty thing, daughter… Were you daring me mother? Because… if I felt lost before I must be beyond hope now!”

The girl stoped just out of reach searching the darkness for answers, meeting Odella’s level stare without foreknowledge or flinching.

*Where are you trying to go?*

The girl startled so badly she almost fell. “I, I, I’m…I’m trying to reach the crossroads.” Even knowing someone was there the girl still seemed to have trouble separating Odella from the shadows.

*You do not know the way.*

The girl stepped closer cutting the distance between them in half. “No, no I don’t. See I was told that we all walk the crossroads, but it turns out that I understand that less now than I did standing in my rooms three days ago.”

The silence stretched till the girl broke.

“Goodness it’s dark down here.”

*Not for me. Not anymore… I’ll take you to the nearest surface break. It isn’t wise to wonder.*

“I’m sorry did you say…”

Odella brushed past the girl on her way towards the next tunnel. *We should go.* Leaving the girl little choice but to follow her and her off melody.

Before long a soft glow appeared in front of them making a silhouette of Odella as she led the way. The girl took a deep breath as she crossed into the room. It was almost too bright in the room after the tunnels with the blue-white light falling from the ceiling and silver flashes glinting on the walls.

For a split second Odella appeared to be covered in silver flames which licked up her arms and legs as the light danced across her chains. She loved the sensation of being sunlit, the warmth of it, but the moment was lost as the girl screamed. Odella turned quickly making direct eye contact with the child.

“Odella.”

The hushed word was almost a curse. Both froze while truth teetered at the edge of the light, waiting for an invitation. Odella fought the urge to walk away.

The girl had screwed up her face trying to remember something.

*Who asks…*

“I have so many questions…. no, I’m… a, a, a… it’s a quest.” The girl looked pleased with herself, like a child holding an interesting bug. But the first choice had already been made, and Odella was stuck.

*True answers, freely given, are hard to find.* Quickly Odella sliced the girl’s hand and tasted her blood.

*You are not ready.*

“But I have to know.”

Odella considered the girl for a long moment before she replied.

*Then choose.*

*** II ***

Now you see daughter there are no small stories of Odella. Hers is a half story. There is no mention of Her as a mischievous child or sullen young lady, Odella’s story starts with Her already fully formed. With the decisions already made, which made her Odella. Every link of Her chain already forged…

***

The girl had paused, the confusion on her face almost comical. “They look almost decorative are they light then?” She wouldn’t quite meet Odella’s piercing gaze.

Decorative. The word felt vulgar to Odella, an ugly swear that burned her ears. She wanted to rage at this girl child to make her sorry for the sadness in her voice, but it wouldn’t rid her of the child. The pact was made and the path forward. The girl was playing for time and Odella knew it.

*No they are not light. No burden is trivial.*

The girl went slack-mouthed as if struck and turned an unflattering shade of red. Odella tried to hide her her glee at the girl’s discomfort, but she was sure the effort made her eyes gleam.

*Are you decorative then?*

“Am I what?”

*Useless. Are you a useless decorative thing that doesn’t understand what or whom you are bound to? Do you exist only to be looked at or played with? Have you marked yourself in some way for another? Are you your own person?*

Odella paused allowing the girl purchase in the conversation if she wanted it. The girl’s eyes swam in unshed tears.

“I am no slave… I wear no chains.”

*You are more slave now than I could ever be. Not even if I added a thousand more links to my chain would I be bound as tightly as you. Why would a chain have to be heavy to to be a burden girl? No, you do not wear chains like mine, but never think you do not carry them.*

That statement echoed slightly as the girl ran blindly from the room towards the path to the left needing nothing so much as to escape the place where such bloody truths had been spilled.

And so we begin Odella thought to herself as she followed the girl back into the darkness.

*** III ***

The answers people seek are rarely what they find. You see we are all too often sure we know what we want to bother asking any real questions. Hard questions always cost something to answer daughter, which is why most people don’t really want to know.

***

Cool air tossed the girl’s hair as she stepped from the gaping mouth of the cave. Odella, a step behind the girl, paused appreciating the twilight after the darkness of the cave. The girl hesitated for only a moment before starting off towards the town, but Odella soaked in the sight. Candlelight burned a flickering red against the night appearing both intimidating and inviting. Candles burned in store fronts, on corners, and even in the trees creating an ambience that was hard to resist not that many tried.

Everywhere there were people going about their business, as if it was nearing noon not midnight, but in such a hushed manor that Odella could hear the bee’s wax scorching on the fresh wicks as they passed. Odella watched the girl try to engage with the travelers on the street, and while few took notice of the child none would meet Odella’s gaze. The shop keeps and venders more than made up for it though with leering eyes filled with anger. Odella wasn’t sure that the girl had actually focused on anything she was seeing till she stopped in front of a window. The glass alternated between being filled with opaque smoke and being clear enough to look through. So with her fingers resting upon the glass the child waited for the pane to empty and as it did she caught a glimpse of the patrons. The girl jumped back as if electrified and turned angrily towards Odella.

“The Red Light District!”

Distress emanated from the girl in waves. A quick right to left head jerk confirmed Odella’s suspicion, if they didn’t move quick they would be alone on the street. Without a second to consider how the girl would react Odella grabbed her by her accusatory finger and pulled her into the very building whose window had been such an affront to the girl’s delicate sensibilities. The child blanched as the door slammed shut and the pounding music reverberated up from the floor boards.

*You sit and keep quite.*

Odella’s tone brooked no argument so the girl sat quickly and focused her attention on the polished black lacquered table top. As a man dressed only in leather straps with sly eyes and a half smile walked by Odella leaned forward and whispered into his ear.

“What…” 

*I told you to keep you mouth shut.*

The statement wasn’t shouted, but the scold in the words was there all the same.

*We are looking for your answers, are we not? You have chosen at every fork in the road, have you not? So we would only be here if we needed to be, right?*

Odella had asked questions but expected no answers as such she had never once paused. The girl had again struck a raw nerve. Honestly Odella didn’t see the issue. The room they were in at the surface was like any other tavern except the men and women who moved between the tables where dressed in ways that meant even Odella would not draw a second glance. While the dark lent privacy to the booths the tables were filled with flickering candles which threw the patrons in eerie relief. Even the ghastly sight of patrons didn’t stop the woman, clad only in shear scarves and tiny bells, as she walked past blowing kisses to anyone who looked her way. Odella could feel herself relaxing into the comfort of anonymity, but the girl who sat across from her was so unyielding it looked as if she might crack. Odella caught herself feeling pity for the child and immediately banished the thought.

The girl had not noticed the woman’s air kisses or Odella’s assessing stare. It was center stage that held the girl’s, and most everyone’s, attention. There a blindfolded woman was tethered to a hoop suspended from the ceiling, with her head hanging down and her body absolutely still. Before the girl could invent any questions a man appeared stage left, his appearance effectively ended all sounds but beating hearts and panting breaths. The man dressed all in crimson approached the bound woman whose head now tilted up and strained toward the man. He ran his finger down her jaw line cupping her chin in the palm of his left hand. She quivered at his touch drawn up taunt against her restraints. The man made quite a show of tracing every inch of the woman’s exposed skin till she vibrated with anticipation. Then in a swift measured motion the man in crimson struck the blindfolded woman.

The girl’s hands moved, of their own accord, to her mouth in an attempt to contain her fear for the tethered woman, but she never looked away. As the blindfolded woman moaned with pleasure the girl’s eyes widened not closed.

The man with sly eyes motioned to Odella. Discretely she moved to follow him once again leaving the girl little choice but to follow as well.

*I hope you learned something.*

The child’s only response was open mouthed silence.

*** IV ***

I can feel your questions simmering just below the surface, tearing at you. Your definition of self so fragile under the onslaught of whys. What deeply secret part of you will be sacrificed upon the alter of knowledge. You will lose yourself before you know yourself, if nothing else, you can be sure of that.

***

The three of them passed within inches of the stage, so close that the fiery passion in the crimson man’s eyes was visible, as they exited a back door. Odella again whispered in the sly eyed man’s ear and for a second he held her arm like a drowning man holds a life line. The man’s sincerity and gratitude warmed Odella to her core. Such that she felt raw and exposed as he left, open to the brutal daggers in the girl’s hard stare. Odella settled herself into a waiting posture.

The girl abruptly turned on her heal obviously unsure of where she was going.

*Where to?*

“Away! Anywhere that’s away from here.”

*Back rarely leads where you think it will.*

The girl child stopped moving her feet but every other part of her seemed to shake as if momentum was necessary in that moment regardless of direction. “I need to undo what the filthy place has done.” The girl’s words were loud and angry but Odella could see the tears in her eyes.

*Why? What did Candlelight do to you child? No harm befell you. No one bothered you. You are as you came.*

“No! That’s a lie. What I saw, what felt… What I feel. It’s, it’s… it’s shameful.” The girl blushed to the roots of her hair as she cried and hugged herself.

*What do you feel?* The girl looked up startled. *Not shame, you are holding that like a shield it’s not the real feeling.*

“Stupid. I feel like a stupid little girl who knows nothing… Like what I called innocence was actually naivety. Like my questions are small and insignificant. I’ll never feel the way she looked and I… I want want to know what that was.”

Odella loosened her posture. *It’s not shameful to want that child. Candlelight offers knowledge; knowledge of ones self, of ones desires, and of ones boundaries, but without control it’s useless.* The girl looked only slightly less confused. *Choose. Will you go forward or back?*

The girl tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She looked even younger than Odella suspected she was as she stood hoping for a cosmic sign in the dark. Slowly she faced Odella again, eyes still tightly closed. “I’m too far in to turn back now.”

*Then Appetence is that way.* The girl only partially opened her eyes to see where Odella was pointing.

*** V ***

What would you give to know yourself fully and without regret? Would you be willing to challenge yourself at every turn? Would you be willing to come face to face with your decisions? Could you take knowing that every choice was yours to make, even the choices you gave away?

***

The path to Appetence was made of faded red stones and sparsely lined with nearly spent candles. Once again Odella followed the girl as she hurried toward her new destination, casting only occasional glances backwards to check if Odella was in fact still there. As they moved along the winding path it seemed as if the air filled with the sent of myrrh and grew heavy with humidity.

By the time the pair reached Appetence the girl was breathing heavily though parted lips. The building was a surreal combination of mirrored glass and dense vegetation. The door way stood open covered only by moonflower vines and climbing roses. The girl took one long look back towards Candlelight and the cave before crossing the threshold.

The perfumed air was intoxicating and not more than three steps in the girl started swaying. “I wanna, enjoy myself.” She said to no one in particular as she reached out to steady herself against the wall. “I wanna feel joy so vast I’m not sure I could contain it.”

Odella could sense the Watcher’s eyes tracking their progress. *Careful what you wish for child. There are those who come to Candlelight for knowledge but lose themselves to desire.*

A flash of red silk drew the girl’s attention so she only spoke over her shoulder. “I want to know what the woman knew.”

Odella did her best not to sigh. Youth was a weapon that could topple mountains or dismantle dogma if properly wielded, but in untrained hands the damage was almost always greater. Odella finally caught up to the girl as she entered the solarium. The steamy glass obscured each reflection into long rippling approximations of real life. She wasn’t sure how the girl could not feel the Watchers but she seemed blissfully oblivious as she made her way to the the deep pool dead center of the room.

Odella wondered what the girl would see in the inky depths of that dark mirror. She had looked once herself, a lifetime ago, and what she had seen had rattled her very bones. The girl grasped the side of the stone pool so fiercely her knuckles went white. The girl went very still and leaned in so close to the water Odella thought she might jump in, but what had appeared to be shadows detached themselves from the wall and moved to the girl to intervene.

~What do you hear?~ A Watcher asked as it laid a hand upon the girl’s back.

*Girl.*

Tears fell freely as she stared into the pool. “I am simple.”

~How does it feel?~ Another asked again laying its hand upon the girl taking the fleshy part of her arm in a firm grasp.

The girls breathing was ragged and irregular. “I… am… on fire.” The girl leaned in even further straining towards something Odella could not make out.

~Tell me your secretes?~ The third asked as it laid hands upon the girl’s head.

*Your choice.*

~What do you see child?~ The Watchers released the girl and she neatly fell into the pool. Their eyes shone like silver as they waited.

The girl walked away from the pool without a backwards glance. “So many broken things.”

*** To be continued ***

Up thoughts

Alice in Wonderland all rights to Disney

She stood on tiptoe her nose barely reaching over the edge of the table. The treats were so tempting sitting in their cut crystal bowl screaming “eat me”, but still she wavered. Some small animalistic lobe of the brain alerting her to the danger of too perfect an opportunity. Quickly she glanced side to side, sure she was about to be found out for the uninvited interloper she was, but no one looked or noticed. Quick as a flash tiny hand took tiny treat. The jolt of adrenaline added to the flavor making the sugar complex and wonderful. Wildly she enjoyed the stolen morsel, and having eaten her treasure sank to the floor… deflated. No one had noticed or cared. Emptiness filled her stomach and inch by inch swollowed her, mind and all. Everything now felt sharp and disjointed as if it had become over large or ungainly. She sat with her new feelings and confused by them began searching for explanation. She had gotten what she wanted, right? 

Yes, it had been exquisite in both anticipation and reality. So why did she now feel even smaller? 

The thoughts made her want to wipe her hands off, as if this mindset could be cleared away so easily. 

Maybe, no. Perhaps the real want had not yet been met. 

Immediately her searching switched to scanning. The treats were little, the pleasure they brought had been little, and the motive tiny. She would need something much bigger to make the smallness go away. Ruby and amber flashes winked at her from smoky glass decanters daring her to “drink me”. This, she thought, was no little thing this was big. The big action of a big person who people would notice. Decided she went for the decanter thinking only up thoughts. The flush of success, so newly acquired, slipped away as the liquid passed parted lips. It seared and burned on the way down pulling her after. 

Up it seemed was still out of reach.

The Essence

As seen on Deviantart by Jasonart50

“Who among you can explain the Essence?”

The question felt more like a dare than anything else, Fyeria thought to herself looking around the room. Everyone’s eyes were lowered. She alone was brave enough to scan the room and make direct eye contact with The Phlox whom responded with a raised eyebrow. Double dare Fyeria imagined it meant and smiled softly.

“The Essence defies explanation,” Fyeria countered.

The older woman raised her upturned palm giving Fyeria leave to expand.

“How would one explain everything? That is… the Essence is, was, and will be. How can we hope to define let alone comprehend such an enormity?”

The Phlox looked unamused but Fyeria was not deterred.

“Let me try again shall I? The earth we stand upon exists whether we believe in it or not. It is not up for debate. Nor is the wind at are backs and in our lungs. Perhaps these things can be defined, ie soil is a mixture of fine particulate organic and inorganic matter, but they can not be explained, ie why. So to answer your question,” and Fyeria paused suddenly as she locked eyes with The Phlox. “The Essence is the female embodiment of the four elemental forces Air, Water, Earth and Fire. She exists almost as a deity in the sense that Her mythology, for lack of a better term, seems to predate our recorded history. However, She is something more because She is not content to sit and watch, and therefore… defies explanation.”

Nearly every set of eyes in the room were wide mirroring the many opened mouthed expressions of surprise also visible. The Phlox just stared back at the young girl with fiery hair tight lipped with cold eyes. “The Essence is balance.”

~~~~~~~

This is a snippet of my story Rooted in Fire which I have posted as a Page. Check it out if you’re interested in Fyeria and The Essence.
The story has been in my head for awhile so I need to go back and edit, probably a lot, but I love feedback so any critique is welcome. Thanks for reading!

Welcome to Candlelight

http://www.flickr.com/photos/imageneer/161852625/

At the gaping mouth of the cave Odella paused throwing her hood up so as to hide her face in the dark shadows of the folds, but Llana doubted it was necessary as they seemed to be arriving somewhat near twilight. 

“Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open child there is much to learn in Candlelight.”

Llana tried to search her memory for any reference to such a place, but came up empty handed.  Quickly they came upon the town itself which burned a flickering red against the night due to the immense number of candles burning in store fronts, on corners, and even in the trees.  Llana had to admit that the picturesque scene had an ambience she had never encountered before. As her eyes adjusted to the ruddy light, which seemed to shadow as often as it illuminated, it became obvious to Llana that Odella’s hood was necessary.  Everywhere she looked there were people going about their business as if it was high noon not midnight, however how they were able to do so remained a mystery to Llana as no sign hung from any of the doors they passed. Though the streets were crowded with people, many of whom went hooded, there was almost no sound.

The quiet was such that she could hear the bee’s wax scorching on the fresh wicks as they passed, unless a door was opened. Along with the tinkle of bells, which alerted the propitors of an indivuals entrance, such a mix of sounds would pour into the night that Llana had no time to process what might be occurring behind the firmly shut doors and shadowy windows. Odder still were the people. Few on the street would meet her gaze, but the shop keeps and venders more than made up for it with eye contact strong enough to make her squirm. Fear of the strangely assessing looks meant that Llana kept her eyes constantly roving sliding from one thing to another without actually focusing on what she was seeing.

However, as they rounded a corner one store front in particular drew Llana’s attention.  As she got closer she realized it was because the glass alternated between being filled with opaque smoke and being clear enough to look through.  With her fingers resting upon the glass she waited and as the pane emptied she caught a glimpse of the patrons.  Llana jumped back as if electrified and turned angrily towards Odella who was a good ten steps ahead of her now, “The Red Light District,” she shrieked distress emanating from her in waves.

A quick right to left head jerk confirmed Odella’s suspicion, if they didn’t move quick they would be alone on the street, not an ideal situation as they were still a ways from Appetence. Without a second to consider how the girl would react Odella grabbed her by her accusatory finger and pulled her into the very building whose window had been such an affront to her delicate sensibilities. Llana blanched as the door slammed shut and the pounding music reverberated up her legs from the floor boards.

“You sit and keep quite no matter what, this time,” Odella said in tones that brooked no argument while pointing to a dark corner booth away from the stage and door.

Hating herself for every step deeper into the debauchery she went Llana sat quickly and focused her attention on the polished black lacquered table top. In what seemed like a very long time Odella returned with a man dressed only in leather straps whose sly eyes and half smile made Llana flush and look away. Odella, however, did not flush nor lower her hood rather she leaned into the man and whispered into his ear and sent him off with a wave of her hand.

“What…”

“I told you to keep you mouth shut.”

The statement wasn’t shouted, but the scold in the words hit her like an open fist.

“We are looking for your answers, are we not? You have chosen at every fork in the road, have you not? So we would only be here if we needed to be, right?” Odella had asked questions but expected no answers as such she had never once paused. “Now do as I said and watch with open eyes and mouth closed we will talk later.”
***********************************************

For other exerts from the story The Chains We Own click the links below

The first link in the chain

Chains that make no noise

Answers at the Y in the path

Finding the blood stone

Prolouge

This is a story about a young girl who has gone off in search of answers before making one of life’s greatest choices. Unexpectedly, she has found that truths and answers are not for the faint of heart, nor easy in the discovering. On her journey she will come into contact with individuals who will be able to teach her not only about the ways of the world she has mostly been sheltered from, but also how to find the strength to own up to your burdens and baggage whatever form they may take.

The Queen Who Wasn’t

          Fierya had been counting down the seconds till she could make her escape, unimpressed by the string of never-ending courses. Finally, sugared fruit tarts and sweet warmed cider were placed before each person.  She looked down at her plate wishing she could enjoy the treat, but instead Fierya started the conversation, “What are your plans for me?”

          He picked up his cider with a careless gesture and sipped at it thoughtfully. “Let me begin somewhere else Fierya. You are without a doubt my daughter, one need only look at your eyes to see that, and you most decidedly have power.”

          “But why does this mean she must be your responsibility,” Haddie cut in. “I am sorry to be the one to say it, but it does seem questionable that your bastard child appears only in time to usurp your legitimate heir and be sent to the Phlox.”

          Auria could almost feel Haddie’s fingers upon her strings as if she was no more than a puppet, but she could not help responding. “In three short years I am to be named Queen Heir, and you would find me hard pressed to give that up.  Father, it is all I have ever learned, I do not know how to be anything else.” As quickly as the words dried up on Auria’s lips, tears welled in her eyes, which she unconsciously wiped away.

          “We’ve been through this,” Fierya said exchanging looks with both Auria and Dronocum, “I want nothing from you.”

          “Then why are you here?” The hate in Haddie’s voice colored each of her words.

          Fierya pivoted in her chair to take the white-haired women on face to face. Drono tried to break their eye contact with a wild but unfortunately useless gesture. “Have you something to say to me girl?”  A half-smile played across Fierya’s face, but her eyes were empty and unforgiving. “I’m not like you.”  The words were simple but they seemed to hang upon the air heavy and full of meaning causing the smugness to fall from Haddie’s face as if she had been hit. However, before she could say anything Fierya continued. “How did you ever get those snow-white locks? I wonder?” The way the words rolled off her tongue left little to no doubt that Fierya did more than wonder. “And, why suffer the humiliation of being the Queen that wasn’t?  I am nothing like you, and you will do well to remember it.”

          The silence that followed rang with the same finality that Fierya’s threat had. “Enough! Fierya?” Dronocum was torn she now had answers to the questions which often kept him up at night, but this had to end. “You are my daughter and shall be named as such on the same day Auria will be named as my heir publicly, in four nights.” The King then spoke to Haddie, “I shall escort my daughters to their room and then will receive my Lady-Consort in my suite.” He rose stiffly but without hesitation, and holding an arm out for both girls left supported by their youth.

                                                                       ★★★★★★★★

          At the sound of the main door swinging shut one of the young men who had carried the large serving platters entered the dinning room, but when Haddie’s wide eyed glare meet his curios gaze he nearly ran from the room.  Haddie shook with unreleased rage. 

          Her chest heaved and spots danced before her eyes when she was finished with her outburst, but she managed to make her way past the thrown dishes, spilt food, and broken glass to the door with deft grace at immediately odds with her surroundings.  She leaned against the strong oak door for but a moment regaining her composure before she made her way to her rooms not his.  Whether or not he knew it he had chosen, and wrongly.

          In her own suits the women shied away hanging on the walls very awear of her mood and disposition.  “Tell the King I’m indisposed,” the command cut through the air like a horn blast sending the women in a hundred different directions while she went to her boudoir shutting and locking the door behind d her.
         “Stupid Drono…just sitting there and letting that whore-spawn…talk to me…like that!
How dare she think she knows anything…about me…me!
I am queen…in all but name…how dare she…cross me!”
         

          Each exclamation was followed by the ripping sounds of Haddie shedding the formal blue gown from her person.  Finally, she stepped from the ring of ruined fabric making her way to the large hanging mirror.  Bathed in only the moon light her elaborate hair coiffure shone and sparkled so like her desired crown making Haddie smile slyly.

          “Dangerous game your playing, bastard.  The last one who thought to best me lost more than she bargained for.”

Chasing Rabbits, Catching Wonder

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson hated his name, the over protectiveness of his mother, and math, but he loved taking walks with Grayson.  Once school was out and before dark fell they were always together perusing the neighborhood, unfortunately no woods or forests could be found so the two of them enjoyed the fields best.  The neighborhood had been raised on the closest portion of Old Man Darrey’s farm which meant that it was not far enough away from town to grant Lew his much desired wooded terrain yet not close enough to town that his worrisome mother would allow him to ride there and wonder the shops.  This was also the reason that three out of four sides of the neighborhood were fields.

Currently Lew’s favorite field was the one growing corn.  He and Grayson would run out into the tall crops until his sides burned, catch his breath, then play tag.  It was better than playing in the bean fields because beneath the corn was a world of green pillars and deep brown ruts where Lew could escape the persistent call “Charles where are you?” from his mother’s kitchen window.  He never felt bad about disappearing into the fields because of Mr. and Mrs. Larson who owned the property nearest to the corn who were constantly out in their yard gardening, the husband always waved and winked while his wife always called out “You boys have fun now”.  Lew knew that if his mother should venture out to find him the Larson’s would put her fears to rest, so he gladly let the hours slip away.

It seemed that Grayson and Lew had a kind of non-verbal understanding, if one got tired the other would wait and Lew would always bring the snacks.  It had worked out well so far and now that it was true summer the two had begun leaving earlier in the morning so as to reach a good resting point before the heat washed over them.  Today Grayson lead Lew to the edge of the corn field where it joined with the beans, other than that everything was the same as always.  They walked out for about an hour when Grayson froze in his tracks, in the time it took for Lew to see what Grayson was looking at it was already too late “N…” was all he could get out.

The rabbit sensing that danger had intruded upon it’s bean heist darted away and Grayson took chase.  With the only real choices left to Lew being get running or get pulled; he did his best to keep his feet and ahold of the leash as Grayson cut a ragged path after the rabbit.  Just when he felt he could run no further nor keep the leash in his raw red hand a moment longer the big mastiff came to a sudden holt.  Lew walked the last few steps to the vine-covered fence and peered down, even Grayson’s instant whining could not break the spell.  “We found it at last boy,” Lew said while scratching Grayson behind the ear, but his eyes never left the large dense copse of trees with a tiny silver twinkle of a stream at its heart which lay spread upon the floor of the slight ravine.

By the time the two were making their way back home Lew was still shaking his head as he tried to puzzle out how he had never found his way to the trees before.  “Well,” he said to Grayson “no one will ever believe me when I tell them a rabbit lead us to our wonderland.”

Checkered Beginnings

     Janis had known for years that she was different because unlike the most typical residents of Grimm she had no desire to wallow in the grey and that more than  anything else made people nervous.  Janis could not recall purposefully deciding to go against the grain rather one day she realized that one of her true desires was to watch a sunrise, not just any sunrise mind you but the kind that seems to wash the world in color, which was in stark contrast to her then friend Beatrice.  A dull little girl who dreamed of discovering an unknown shade of grey which she intended to name after herself.  It went without saying that two girls so different had almost no chance of remaining friends, and they hadn’t.  Having lost one friend to her peculiar notions Janis learned to hide her love of color from the people of Grimm.

     This ment that she often sat quietly alone staring out windows.  To outsiders it appeared that she was lost in day dreams, overly thoughtful, or slow.  Though anyone at her school could vouch for her scholastic abilities, no one asked, and Janis was content that people view her in such a way as it lent her a kind of protection from questions.  This was necessary as the truth of what she was doing in those quiet moments would have raised public alarm for sure.  You see Janis alternated between trying to imagine the colors she had never seen and watching the moments tick by on the clock she pictured, counting down the moments till her 18th birthday.

     Windows may had gotten Janis through middle school, but high school posed a greater threat for questions so she entombed herself in the library gobbling up book after book in her search for color.  The history section had been nothing but an appetizer to her hunger; for as full of description as the books were time it seemed had dimmed their colors to a wash of misty grey.  Next Janis tackled the science texts.  Unfortunately for her mathematical paradigms were only expressed in black and white, and biological sketches were most commonly worked in pencil prior to being committed to the inked pages.  It was not untill her third year at GHS that she stumbled into a small dusty corner of the library basement, which was unlabeled.

     The books in this section appeared  to be nothing other than dilapidated copies of any number of the volumes upstairs, outwardly that is.  However, as Janis thumbed through a few of the nearest books she realized with a gasp that she had found the school’s fiction section.  Nervous about being caught she would sneak away only in the quiet moments before school started to read the abandoned literature.  Janis never fully let herself be carried away by the stories as she first intended rather she made in-depth studies of each story mining for the descriptions color, for even these books had no multi-hued illustrations, but after six months of excitement Janis felt flat.  While she now had two composition books filled with her tightly interwoven script of copied descriptions she was no closer to understanding yellow, blue, or red.  Perhaps this is because most authors never imagine their works in the hands of someone whose world has been leached of color, and as such liken the blue of a boy’s eyes to stormy skies, or the red of a girl’s lips to the sun-kissed spot on a peach.  However, Janis could not understand color in this way having no frame of reference.  More accessable though still confessing were her notes which consisted of clichés; your nothing but a yellow-bellied coward, don’t feel blue, the sudden anger left him seeing red, she was positively green with envy, or tickled pink.  These definitions confused her for Janis clearly remembered the last time she had felt truly angry and that no sudden color had erupted alongside her emotion.
It was this thought path that she was on during home room when her teacher the short and balding Mr. Grouse asked her the fateful question, “Janis, are you alright…how do you feel?”

     “Checkered, I suppose.”

     The words were out of her mouth before Janis comprehended that she had spoken aloud.

     So, now here she was facing down a diagnosis of “the sickness”.  Usually “the sickness” came upon new mothers trying to name their little girls Violet and was forgivable, after a time, as long as the foolish name was abandoned.  However, with her history Janis doubted very much that her quip would go unpunished.  So, she sat in the guidance councilor’s office staring at a blank wall thinking about the response that had landed her there.  Janis had ment to say confused all the little phrases about colors had left her wondering what color people were when they were not one hundred percent angry, sad, jealous, or scared, and that was when Janis decided that people must be patterned when they were unable to be a solid color.  Patterns she at least could understand as they did exist in Grimm although Janis was sure they lost some of their meaning in grey monochrome.  The door slowly opened inward and Janis braced herself for what would come next, the asylum perhaps or some torturous quarantine she thought.

     She felt like polka dots, checks, and stripes all at once, the Welcome to Grimm sign was at her back and the east was before her.  It did not matter that she had no destination and almost no money because all she had to do was reach the top of the hill she was currently climbing.  Janis sat in the grass and waited.  It started slowly, her sunrise, in familiar greys but in what felt simultaneously like an instant and an eternity there was color.  The sky she had read was blue, but this small word did it no justice; seeing it felt like drowning and sounded like music.  The sun had been described as yellow in the science texts, but again the word was too flat.  The sun was pure warmth that she could see even from behind closed eyes and it tasted like fresh-baked bread.  Green was the grass she rested in though one word seemed not enough for the multitude of shade she could pick out, but it was cool and sharp.

     Any one walking by would have seen nothing more than a child at rest, however Janis was much more than that she was in exile and to her the freedom tasted… yellow.

Internal dialogue external spark-Chapter Five

Chapter Five

He could still feel the surge of anger that Haddie had awoken in him at the end of dinner.  However, it was something else that had a hold of his attention, and it was more than the barely controlled rage building inside of eldest daughter.  That, Drono could feel beating against his right side like an open flame.  He kept easy conversation going about the weather and such while his mid continued to search deeper into the mess he had made of the night.  The idea of how bad things had actually gotten made his stomach turn, but it had been enlightening.  Fierya might be his child, but the rash straight forwardness was something he could only dream of…and her abilities.  The Essence be merciful if any one ever found out about what she could do.  Haddie had been at the other end of the table and within seconds she had more out of her than he had managed in all of their years together. Dronocum shifted back into conscious conversation as the small group neared the doorway of Auria’s rooms.

The second that she saw the familiar hallway Fierya began slowly removing herself from Drono’s side, no easy task when you consider the man was deep in conversation with both his daughter and himself.  Just as she had made the final move to distance herself from the others she felt him react.

His head shot to the side as Fierya released his arm and pivoted, sending the edge of her burgundy skirt up against his leg.  “Fierya,” the word had slipped out before he had given himself to time to consider what to say next.  She stared back at him unflinching waiting for any excuse to lose what restraint she had.  “That dress suits you very well.  Did you make it yourself?”  Drono hoped that he had covered the surprise in his voice.

“Yes I did; it was for the Winter Solstice.  It may not be fitting for royalty,” at these words she allowed her eyes to trace back down the hall as if she would find Haddie spying around the coroner on them, “but it’s mine.”

While that answered one question he knew there were more  catching the concerned look lurking in the shadows of Auria’s eyes.  “Well since dinner went so well,” Drono said with good humor smiling as Auria nearly tripped on the hem of her dress at his comment, “I thought I would wait till we were alone to let you know what’s really going on in three days.”  Holding up his now Fierya free hand he continued, “You will both be named officially, and then will go to the Phlox for training as you are both of age.”  Just as he had hopped Auria seemed flushed with excitement, and for once he thought Fierya looked hopeful.

The first link in the chain

“Goodness its dark in here.”

“Not to me, not anymore.”

She knew there was no point in explaining that her eyes were big enough, that they saw more, so she let the silence drag.  The walk was very short, but as her companion was far behind she went slowly.  She listened as the girl inhaled as if to begin quite the conservation only to stop as if she was no longer sure how to make the words come out right.  Finally, she found her voice.

“I did not mean to offend you,”  the girl began wondering what could seem human and still be able to see clearly down here no matter how long they had lived in this way, “it’s well I just…lets start over.  I’m Llana of Tralia, and…”  When there was no immediate response Llana feared that she had lost the other girl who had been almost completely silent on their descent..

“Odella.”

It was then that the two reached their destination.  A hole through the high rock ceiling allowed an orange-red orb to shine through the hall.  Llana blinked fiercely in the sudden glow as the room started to appear out of the shadows.  It was comfortable without being overly lavish even with the many fine things the room held.  Perhaps the most outstanding piece was the mirror which encompassed more than half of the stone wall that held it.  In the mirror Llana caught her reflection.  A girl of normal height and build with hair that fell to her shoulders in thick strands of sun gilded brown.  However it was not her mussed appearance or her wide amber eyes that caught her attention, it was the girl standing behind her.  The girl if you could call her a girl was not just named Odella, she was Odella.

She inhaled sharply and spun on her heel as if Odella might disappear if she did not hurry.  “This is not where you are from, is it?”  Llana hoped that she had not given too much away, but she had to know.

“No, but sometimes I come here, and you ought to be glad I do or you would still be very lost.  Now enough.”  Odella smiled as the girl was caught confused and unsure, but she had seen the recognition on her face.  It had been a long while since anyone on this side had cared to notice, and Odella stood at the edge of truth.  “you must now continue on your way, and I mine,” she said tersely, “you have my best wishes.”  And with those words turned to leave.

Llana stood rooted to the ground, she had never before received such a dismissal; she had been so sure it was a sign.  Then without a thought she replied, “ I am so sorry to impede you on your way, and thank you very much, but I am not leaving.  Not without answers.”  These last words dripped with a disdain that was not lost on Odella.

An awakening

Chapter Three

“I don’t even know who you are and already I hate you, you who are so full of mystery that no one will even breathe a word as to what it is you  are doing here.  Father won’t even tell me a thing.  All he says is that I have done more than he could have hoped.  What ever that means, all I did is what anyone would know to do for a person with a fever, but why should a fever patient stay in my rooms, it’s not as if I ever had the patience for the sick room.  Though truly I would have sworn that you were a salamander taken human form the way you cut through the ice presses.  It’s as if you lay there and will yourself dead…Fierya.

That’s right did I forget to mention that while I know nothing about where you come from or why you’re here I do know something, your name.  Well Fierya, it’s been days three to be exact that you’ve been here, and I don’t care who you are no one gets to grow roots in my room.  Get up and get out you useless lazy clout!”

“My regards to the King’s wake up call, but do be quiet.”  The response had been quiet but filled with anger that the simple words could not conceal.  She slowly sat up looking much worse for her days abed and stared directly at the other girl.  “I do hope you are talking to yourself or perhaps you have found yourself most decidedly in the wrong place.  I am Magalis, and my roots go deeper than you could imagine.”

Curiosity won out over anger and the dark-haired girl returned to talking to the other.  “You’re awake, good now you can answer my questions, Fierya.”

“I told you I am Magalis not this Fierya.  Now where am I?”

“Where are you?  You are in the exact same place you’ve been for three days, in my room,” as this was met with only a confused look she continued, “at the palace.  Do you truly not remember?”  Turning slightly to the side she spoke more to herself than the girl in bed, “how can I find anything out if you don’t know yourself?”  She sat down hard on a cushioned chair, between the door and the bed, thinking and watching the other.  The other girl sat propped up by pillows not looking at herself, at all, only the room.  As she watched the girl’s survey her eyes went wide remembering how terrified her father and Haddie had been that night.  Unsure but determined she started slowly, “Um…what did you say your name was, Magalis?  I’ve never heard such a name before where are you from?”

“Well that I can answer,” the other girl said as she turned from looking out the window her eyes sliding past the large mirror, “I am from the Umbel near the Lakes.”

“Then why would you be here,” the question was out of her mouth before she had finished the thought.

The girl’s face flushed in anger, “Talking to Dronocum about where I should stay…”

“How dare you!  No one names the King.  You, you insolent girl.”  She was on her in a flash, “I don’t know who Magalis is but you’re Fierya now!”  As she finished her sentence she forced the girl to meet the looking-glass her eyes had avoided earlier.  The results were not what she had expected as the girl’s scream echoed off the walls piercing the castle; Dronocum was there before she stopped.

As he entered the room she turned on him.  “What have you and you’re she bitch done?”

He stood stunned, though he had never felt anything but cold dislike for Haddie he had never voiced his opinion and the truth of the statement held him captive, and the anger more than worried him.  He tried to sound calm but her emotions beat against his resolve, “You were at dinner with me do you remember?  We were talking about names…”

“Spit it out or I’ll rip it from you!”

He knew this to be no idle threat so he did the quickest thing he could, he opened his mind to her as he had to Talis.  Before it was over he was on his knees with tears in his eyes.  Fierya paid him no head as she rose from the bed looking only at the glass.

“How?”

“How can I think to know child?”  He was slowly standing the tears still dancing in his eyes.  She shook her head as if trying to physically clear it, and turned to look at the other girl.  “You are my sister by Dronocum.”  There was no question in her voice, just an unloading of truth.  She then reached out and touched the smooth surface fully disproving any illusions as she scanned herself, “I need to bathe, no,” she quickly cut off the others, “I’m sure I can manage.”  She swiftly went to her trunk and gathered a bundle running into the other room without a backward glance.

With Fierya gone a spell seemed to break as everything suddenly clicked in the girl left staring at where the angry girl had been standing.  “She’s my what,” Aria demanded as she faced her father, “How could you not tell who she was before she woke up?  How…”

“How could you not know?  She has my eyes and you must have heard the talk.  Please,” it was the first time she had heard him so exhausted, “come to dinner tonight we all need to talk.”  He moved as if to touch her arm then stopped his hand floating in the space between them, “Auria, I never meant to hurt you.”  Then he was gone.