Tag Archive: goodbye


Swan Song

Thank you to everyone who read a post, tweet, or story. It ment the world to me. You allowed me to be the person I wish I was; strong, opinoiated, brave, outspoken, and whole. You gave me a community when I felt so very isolated and a soapbox to reach out across the globe. I have made friends and connections that I would never have dreamed possible, but mostly being this version of myself helped me live with who I really am. I am a coward. I am weak, broken, and easily manipulated. I cannot lie to you or myself anymore so I am bowing out. It comes with tears, I am sure there will be a void where Jess aka b00kreader existed within me, but I cannot be this person so I have to let her go. Please do not feel I have lied about everything because I haven’t my name is Jessica, I went to grad school in South Carolina, and I am a postdoc at DFCI, but I am tired and beat down not scrappy and hungry. The part of me that is so ashamed of not being the person I presented to you is still happy I tried even if it was only a virtual try. Thank you for letting me pretend with you it was amazing while it lasted!

I shut my eyes against the warm orange glow of the candle I just light.  I remember eating cinnamon and sugar apple slices, playing games of pool, and gardening.  His kind eyes and easy smile.  How big he seemed to me then.  My tears sizzle in the wick’s flame and I inhale a shaky breath.  I need to remember the memories I tell myself… as I prepare to say goodbye.

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Just last week I lost my adopted Grandpa, Lloyd.  I loved that my neighbors treated me like their very own grandchild, and I loved them. Losing him is like losing a part of my childhood.  I will always remember you Grandpa Lloyd and what you meant to me!

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Okay now on to something less weepy.  Like this prompt!  This is a fabulous prompt from Julia over at 100 word challenge for grown ups, here is the link.
Be sure to head over there to read the rest of the flash fictions using this prompt.

 

 

 

My heart pounds, an uneven staccato that reverberates though me.  “Hey,” I say like it doesn’t matter, trying to hide so much beneath so little.  Do you hear what I’ve hidden?  Do my questions thunder around your ears just like they boom in my mind?  Pointless, the questions chase each other’s tails till they become nonsense, as my little word goes unheeded.  You never make eye contact or acknowledge my presence much less my greeting.  The moment passes.  Still my heart rages and now… my hands shake. 

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