We are nothing so much as a collection.  A collage of thoughts or feelings that, for better or worse, define us.

My collection is a series of sour notes strung together in a way that fools the ear into believing it has heard a song.  I am the discordant melody that plays in the dark to alert you of the danger not so far ahead.  Beware, I cry as I introduce myself.  Run, I caution as our conversation begins in earnest.  To know me is to smile at the devil.

I am a broken thing.  It is this which best describes me, not my height, hair and eye color, or zodiac sign, but the pieces of myself which litter the crooked path I have tread.  I lost my ears to the lies they told me, my hands to those takers who never gave back, my heart to lost love, and my back to the ones I supported.  Still the torn soles of my feet venture forward, tentatively seeking safe purchase.  Even now the fire in my belly lights my eyes constant in its hunger for answers, and in my mind I hear that nameless tune, which I mutter on endless repeat, that is my life’s story.

When I think of myself I see the splintered shards of a dropped vase.  The shattered pattern which is, in its self, whole just different from the glass ornament it once was.  Do not react to my brokenness.  Make no attempt to fit the fragments back together.  For, each loss changes me and each scar redefines me.  So let the key change in this song of mine, the melody remains the same, but flee before the entropy I so ardently embrace.

Because I know, not what will emerge from the next moment of destruction, only that Pain walks with me and he is jealous of my attention.



Quote from Janet Fitch's book White Oleander


I wrote this after watching White Oleander, the movie, based on Janet Fitch’s book of the same name.  I bleed for the Astrid character in salty tears.  I love this story.  I envy the strength in the characters and their ability to know who they are.  I hate this story.  I despise that we as a people can hurt children in such spiteful and uncaring ways.  I am inspired by this story.

What movie, book, or character has inspired you lately?