I sit at group listening to all the confessions, some small others big but all painful truths,silent for the most part there but not present. So I am not surprised when all eyes find me.

“I am evil. Well,” I concede, “evil is within me.”

The room becomes heavy with silence, I receive none of the pained smiles reserved for small truths. No one will hurry me and very few are making eye contact, this is a big truth and it seems not everyone is prepared to share it with me. I train my eyes on the largest tree I can see out the tiny window.

“It was decided quite a while back, by the seven.” My eyes drop down, I’m done that’s as much as I can give. However, I have committed the cardinal sin of privacy I gave away enough to make them interested but not enough to satisfy them.

“Please continue,” the man with the clip board says searching his list for my name.

I shake my head slightly wishing he would let me alone. The lights start to fade around me, I feel the heat coursing through me, and the sound of voices rise ringing in my ears.

The girl, now sits with her elbows on her knees leaning forward eyes no longer downcast her mouth a hard line. “You, stop looking in that list of yours doc nothing in there is gonna help! She’s fine!”

After her final word the girl scans the room locking eyes with each person daring them to disagree.

The doctor stops fumbling and gives the girl his undecided attention pen poised, “Good, I’m glad to hear that miss…” he ends with an inflection in his voice which makes the statement a question.

“It’s Grea.” She says still angry but without her earlier fire. Her arms slip off her knees and as if she’s asleep her head droops and bobs back up.

“Grea’s a bore really,” she says as she crosses her legs and licks her lips, “I’m the one to talk to.” Even her voice has changed she seems sure of herself sultry even. “My friends call me Luts.” She smiles a slow smile tracing her lower lip with the edge of her finger tip. “I think I might be the one you want, mister,” she sighs leaning back forcing her chest forward and rubbing her legs against one another, “Grea might have appeared important what with her menacing looks and harsh words, but she burns out rather quickly. I on the other hand…”

“Enough…that’s show enough,” I say shaking my head. I pray for the spinning to stop making eye contact with no one begging for the hour session to be over, but like I said I’m evil and my prayers always go unanswered.

The doctor remembers himself and snaps his jaw shut. “Um, the seven, you did say seven…” he asks while continuing to frantically shuffle through his notes.

The girl’s head slips to the side before she’s pulled quickly upright like some pathetic doll on a string.

“Yeah, she did,” the voice is flat now but still so sure. “Stupid Gerde,” the woman says to herself looking up, “Was it the attention you were after? ‘Cuse they sure are looking now aren’t they?” Turning she says, “Well, I’m with her enough is enough, we’re done here,” addressing the man with the clip board once more.

“Sorry ma’am, but who might you be?”

“Me…I’m Perdi, I go before the fall.”

The statement hung in the air a tangible thing filled with menace, but not the girl. Instead she sat straight in her seat no self pity, rage, or sexuality empty now of what ever had made her share. Rather she just existed, completely in or under control once again.

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